I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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