She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
