I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
