Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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