I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
