you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
