sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
