Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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