I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
