Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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