What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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