ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
