doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
