thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize