I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
