u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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