ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
