bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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