...so i touched it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
