last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
