No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
