i just had sex bonerless
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
