great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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