fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
