Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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