is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
