Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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