I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
