Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
