My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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