i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
