Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize