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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
