I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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