I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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