he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
