She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize