What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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