o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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