I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
