Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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