stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
