i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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