Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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