How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
wow bdsm is so cute
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