Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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