let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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