For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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