My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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