the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
