Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
