Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
