Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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