well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize