we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
