Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
