I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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