You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
