Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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