I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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