The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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