wakey wakey hands off snakey
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
